Susan playing kickball at a church picnic.

I’m imperfect!

I know that’s hard to comprehend, ha, but it’s true. I can get up-tight and emotional about customer service. I try to live right, but sometimes if my car doesn’t get fixed right, they send the strawberry plants at the wrong time, or do a half-effort job repairing the barn, then Susan is off in the sky blue level of an emotional send off.

My heart starts to pound and I know it’s coming … kabooooom. “What?” me thinks in my brain. “How could you send me my strawberry plants now when it CLEARLY states on line that you will ship them in August????”

Well, the first thing I do is to complain to Tom. “Blah, blah, blah,” I go on and on and on to Tom.

Tom’s reaction is to tell me to call them and tell them of the mistake.

Sounds calming right? But what if they don’t correct it? But what if they say, “Tough luck, lady. Plant those strawberries.”

Well, how dare you speak to me like that?

WHAT? Maybe you should call them first, Susan, before all the imaginary drama.

Oh, I’m fired up now! I get my e-mails together. I get my receipts together. I get the toll free number punched in on my cell phone. I am prepared for battle!

I call at 8:03 a.m., just long enough for the representative to adjust her headset and take another sip of her morning coffee.

“Hello, I’m calling about my order that was shipped.”

You know the drill—your zip, your name, your order.

“Yes, you will receive your strawberries and asparagus plants this Thursday,” the representative groggily responds.

“But that’s the problem! It CLEARLY states on the web site that you will ship strawberry plants in August to September.”

Doesn’t she understand my problem???? The sky will fall and the moon shall never shine again.

“But we ship strawberry plants pretty much all the time now.” she says.

Oh Susan, stay calm. Stay calm. Stay calm.

Heart’s pounding.

“But it says on the website you will ship in August!”

Oh dear, not too calm. I want to apologize but I don’t. Now, I’m sorry for getting angry. I’m a terrible person.

Representative says to wait and she will talk to her supervisor.

Then the loud tinny music comes on and I slip back into the mad toad look.

“Susan,” the rep says, “You can do whatever you like with the strawberry plants you will receive on Thursday. Plant them, give to a neighbor or a friend or throw them in the trash (I think the last was an editorial comment) and we will be sending you strawberries as you have requested in August.”

HA!

Where’s the fight, lady??? That’s too easy!

“Send me an e-mail of that, please.” I say.

You would think I would be happy, but no. I have to go complain to Tom about the mix-up and what they are doing for me.

I did say I wasn’t perfect in the beginning, right?

I march right downstairs into his office and “Blah, blah, blah.”

Tom looks up at me and says, “What’s the problem? They gave you what you asked for.”

WHAT? WHAT? Where’s your fight, man?????

Susan, there is no fight. It was all for naught.

Sigh.

Folks, one of these days, before the Lord comes back, I’m going to be a sweet person alllllll the time.

I confess, Jesus is the author and finisher of Susan.

Dialing down!

Susan Shanklin