Everyone Needs a Father!
Photo by Sabine Ojeil on Unsplash.
This message was originally posted on the Tom Shanklin Ministries website in June 2016.
By Tom Shanklin
Everyone needs a father!
If you don’t believe it, check out these statistics about children growing up in fatherless homes in the United States:
- 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health Census) – 5 times the average.
- 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average.
- 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Center for Disease Control)
- 70% of youths in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Sept. 1988)
- 85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Fulton Co. Georgia, Texas Dept. of Correction)
- Daughters of single parents without a Father involved are 53% more likely to marry as teenagers, 711% more likely to have children as teenagers, 164% more likely to have a pre-marital birth and 92% more likely to get divorced themselves. Adolescent girls raised in a 2 parent home with involved Fathers are significantly less likely to be sexually active than girls raised without involved Fathers.*
Source: https://thefatherlessgeneration.wordpress.com/statistics/
Obviously, people need a dad!
A couple who work with young men in prison told us recently that nearly every prisoner comes from a fatherless home or situations with an “out to lunch” dad.
In my own experience as a local church pastor for 22 years, I can say that many of the people who struggle most in their relationships in the church had “father issues.”
The simplest way to say it is that a lack of a healthy relationship with one’s father tends to cause great insecurity, which leads to a multitude of other emotional and social problems. Conversely, children with a healthy relationship with their father generally tend to be secure, comfortable in their skin, and ready to face life and its challenges.
I often think of Joseph, whose father Jacob (Israel) loved him. As the scripture says, “Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colours.” Genesis 37:3, KJV.
Because of the love he received from his father, Joseph could envision great things for his life and he was able to succeed in spite of great adversity. As a result, he became a source of deliverance for his family and preserved the godly lineage and a legacy of faith.
This is not to say that people who have grown up without a father or even parentless cannot have a successful life. Many people have overcome emotional hurtles to lead fruitful and valuable lives. And thank God for single moms or dads who have faced the challenges and helped their children to see themselves as valuable and loved. Sometimes we are faced with a certain reality in life and we must do what we can to overcome it. Remember, nothing is impossible with God.
Nevertheless, as we see from the statistics above, we need to pray for God’s best for the families and the children of our nation and the world.
God’s Plan for the Family
One day people will figure out that God knew what He was doing when He ordained marriage and the family, and called for love and faithfulness between one mom and one dad in the home. He talks about it in the last book of the Old Testament, where He says His purpose is to seek godly offspring:
“Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth.” (Malachi 2:15 NLT)
In fact, in the very last words of the Old Testament, the prophet tells us that the breakdown in the relationship between fathers and their children brings a curse to the earth, but He also gives us hope that before Jesus returns there would be a restoration of that relationship:
“Look, I am sending you the prophet Elijah before the great and dreadful day of the Lord arrives. His preaching will turn the hearts of fathers to their children, and the hearts of children to their fathers. Otherwise I will come and strike the land with a curse.” Malachi 4:5, 6, NLT
We certainly see the evidence of that curse in the gangs, violence, chemical abuse, social unrest and multitude of other problems in the world today.
God has an Answer for the Fatherless
We might wonder, “Is there any hope?” With multiplied millions of children being raised in fatherless homes or in homes where the father is physically present, but totally disengaged or even abusive, what can we do? In God’s mercy, there is an answer. He will be a father to the fatherless!
“Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: extol him that rideth upon the heavens by his name JAH, and rejoice before him. A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in his holy habitation. God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land.” Psalms 68:4-6, KJV.
David says it another way: “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.” Psalms 27:10, KJV.
Jesus Came to Bring Us to the Father
The revelation of God as Father was partially veiled in the Old Testament. But through the life and ministry of Jesus, we are introduced to our heavenly Father, who loves us personally and cares for our spiritual, emotional and physical needs. Jesus modeled sonship for us. He lived a life of fellowship with his father, and He depended upon Him in all things. He also taught us how to relate to our heavenly father. For example:
“For the Father himself loveth you, because ye have loved me, and have believed that I came out from God.” John 16:27, KJV.
“Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” Luke 12:32, KJV.
“If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?” Luke 11:13, KJV.
“After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.” Matthew 6:9, 10, KJV.
But the greatest thing that Jesus did, even beyond His example and His teaching, was the work of redemption He accomplished through His death and resurrection. We can read about in Paul’s epistle to the Galatians:
“But when the fulness of the time was come, God sent forth his Son, made of a woman, made under the law, To redeem them that were under the law, that we might receive the adoption of sons. And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father. Wherefore thou art no more a servant, but a son; and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.” Galatians 4:4-7, KJV.
How to Come into the Family of God
Jesus came to this earth, not only to teach us, but also to die for us. His death on the cross provided the legal means for God to forgive us and to receive us into His family. When Jesus was crucified, our sins were placed upon Him. He became our substitute. As the scripture says, “For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh, but quickened by the Spirit:” 1 Peter 3:18, KJV.
When we sincerely receive Jesus as our personal Lord and Savior, everything changes. The door of salvation is opened. The way is made for us to become a child of God. We are adopted into the family. The Holy Spirit comes into our heart crying “Abba Father” (a term of endearment like papa or daddy). This is the initial work of the Holy Spirit in the redeemed person, to let them know that they are a child of God. Then our relationship with our heavenly Father becomes a living reality.
Through that work, our lives are made new. We receive a full inheritance. We are joint heirs with Jesus, we are loved by our Father. He gives us a coat of many colors.
Make it your business to learn more and more about your Father’s love and to walk in the light of it. When you become secure in His love, you can face life’s adversity with a victorious spirit, knowing that if God be for you, who can be against you. This is the heart of the Gospel and the key to receiving all that God has for you in Christ. It is also what is needed to bring healing to broken people, families, and nations.
Everyone needs a father, and God will be that father for you! Talk to Him like this:
Dear Father, I come to you in Jesus’ name. Thank you for sending Jesus to die for me. I believe He died for me and rose again and I receive Him as my Lord today! I receive your love. I love you Father… and you love me. Amen.